Live in Drama


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Saturday, September 14, 2002

Just got home from a play that my friend Evan "Junior" worked on. It was pretty good. Way way way way off-Broadway, but good nonetheless. It was called "Trust" and it followed these people through their relationships with each other. It was somewhat melodramatic at times, but there was some decent comedy as well. It's only playing for two more nights, but if you're around, go check it out at 107 Suffolk St, between Delancey and Rivington on the L.E.S.

Wednesday was the Anniversary. If you don't know what anniversary I'm talking about, then crawl back into your cave right now and never ever ever show your face in the light of day. For all you non-cave-dwellers, you know what that means. It was not a particularly easy day; in fact, it was about a hundred times more difficult than I thought it would be. I had only really considered the possibility that they would attack again that day, and I had basically written that off as highly unlikely. I didn't think about the emotional effect the day would have on me and on others as well. I woke up in the morning, a little bit late because I had been out for Les's bday party the night before, and I remembered the date right away. I turned on the news briefly, but I couldn't handle watching it. I was fighting tears on the train the entire way to work, especially on the bridge going into the city, facing downtown and looking at the empty space. I do that every day and it never ceases to bother/amaze me, but Wednesday it hit me hard. Then at work, Kim, Jen, and I were in a complete funk, just wishing that we weren't there, refusing to listen to the radio and trying to keep each other from totally breaking down. All I wanted to do was curl up in bed with my stuffed animal and lie there. And I wanted to talk to my mom. I hadn't realized (because I had shut my phone off) that she'd left me a message in the morning sometime, but I finally got in touch with her around 11. That's when I cried, just a little because my manager (Tom the Greek asshole) was standing outside the store staring at me, so I pulled myself together and went back inside, not looking at anyone, hoping to avoid any questions. Of course that was entirely unsuccessful; Stu-boy was at the front counter and he saw me and right after I got back down to the office, he called my phone and asked if I was alright and if there was anything I needed. That was a sweet thing to do, because he actually lost a good friend last year in the WTC and he had every right to be pre-occupied with himself but instead he was worried about me. I perked up later in the day when David and Jeremy randomly stopped in to say hi, and then I ended up hanging out with Stu after work. Neither one of us could handle being alone and watching tv; we knew we'd just end up depressed. So instead we drank a few beers and hung out, first at his place for a short while and then back at mine. We stayed up ridiculously late laughing at each other and having a good time, then fell asleep and we were all better in the morning. More or less, anyway.

Now I'm going to go off on a tangent for a minute...

Someone else who I spent some time with that was not in New York that day did not comprehend what the big deal was. Apparently, everyone around the world was affected in the same way and it didn't make a difference if you were here or not. Everyone had horrific memories to deal with on Wednesday and it didn't matter that you only watched the towers burning on CNN rather than through your bedroom window. It didn't matter that you never breathed in that smoke that tasted and smelled of steel and terror and death. It didn't matter that your city was not guarded by the military for the next few weeks. It was the same experience for everyone, those outside of New York as well as those who dealt with it firsthand.

BULLSHIT. Some people really have no idea. I know it was a terrible day for everyone (except those bastards that hit us. And all of their supporters.). It was different if you were HERE. You can't possibly understand what we had to deal with on Wednesday. And I hope to God that you don't ever understand it. I wish I didn't. But don't be so fucking narrow-minded that you think it's not a little bit harder for us who were here. Give us our sorrow, our memories, our tears, and don't you dare imply that we're overreacting because you don't have a fucking clue. Go back to wherever you were that day. Leave us in peace.

Sorry, I had to vent a little there. That really pissed me off and I didn't have the energy to get into that argument on Wednesday night. I was too drained and tired of thinking about it, and there was no way I could have been rational and not pulled out a knife or something.

End of tangent.

So yeah, we all managed to get through Wednesday, no new attacks or anything. Now it'll get a little easier, I hope. The first year after any sort of tragedy is always the hardest. We can only get better from here.

Unless something else happens. But we won't think about that right now.

I am going to watch some tv now and go to bed. I have to be up very very very very early tomorrow to run some errands before work. I crave sleep. Good night all.

Thursday, September 05, 2002

I'm back online!!!!!!!!!!!

I haven't blogged in sooooooooo long. Sorry about that to those few people who actually read this. I had an incredibly busy, crazy, hectic, fun summer. I won't recount the entire last three months because that would take about a week (at least), but I will try to sum it up in a few random words: alcohol, moving, work, no sleep, hotels, bars, concerts, Terra Blues, cyborgs, New Jersey, cats, Warped Tour, friends, Friends, more alcohol, "sex, drugs, and rock 'n roll", boys, men, Yankees, Joaquin Phoenix, visitors, hangovers, parties...I'm going to stop now. If you want details, then ask me in the comments section. Or drop me an email at

Work is fine, still at Stereo Exchange, working 6 days a week now. I only have Mondays off, which sort of sucks but at the same time, I'm making overtime so I can't complain. I still live in Brooklyn, although I moved out of the guys' apartment 2 months ago and now I live with Sophie. We have a cat, a black female named Holly (who is ridiculously cute). Our apartment is nice, small but perfect for the two of us, and not too expensive. That's the real benefit of living in Brooklyn. It's way to freakin' expensive in the city.

This is a really f***ed up thing to do since I haven't written anything in so long, but I'm going to go smoke a cigarette. I may come back and write more later. I just have to figure out what to talk about.

Funny, I so rarely have a problem coming up with things to say....

Saturday, June 01, 2002

I'm not going to write very much. I'm just too tired. I didn't get home until 6am, and then I had to get up for work at 8:30. It's been such a long day. But last night was so much fun that it was totally worth it. I went to Terra Blues again, then hung out for a while after the show. And yes, Stu is such the hottie.

Thursday night and Friday morning were somewhat stressful. Rent technically was due today, but our landlord decided that he wanted it Friday, in cash, as usual. So he said he would come by around noon to pick it up. The problems with that were as follows: Jason and David had deposited checks that they weren't sure would clear; I don't get paid until Friday at work, and I wouldn't be home from work until after 8, if at all that night; Byron couldn't cash his paycheck until Friday; Bobby never gave anyone the money that he owes from April. Oh yeah, and Ying decides to tell David and Jason on Thursday night that she isn't going to stay here for June, therefore won't be paying anything for the month, and is only going to pay for the 2 weeks in May that she stayed here, although the rest of us (with the exception of David) moved in at the same time and had to pay for the entire month. We're all very pissed off at her for not even attempting to get in touch with any of us to tell us this, or give us a little bit more notice. I mean, David had to track her down to hear this, because she never sleeps here anyway. So we all now have to pay more money, unless someone else moves in for June, which I don't foresee happening. I vote that we just throw all of her stuff in garbage bags and put it out in the hallway or on the street, since technically it's June and she's not paying for her things to be here. Why should we store them for her? David says we should make her pay a storage fee. If we do that, we should just work out how much the rent is for the exact amount of time that her things are here and tell her to pay that amount. Plus make her pay the full amount for May. I just can't believe she pulled such a bitch move. I'm going to move all the shit that she's been storing in my room into her room and lock the adjoining door, since I'm sure I won't see her. I don't even want her coming into my room. If I do see her, I'm sure I'll be a complete bitch (come on, she definitely deserves it) so I guess it would be better that I don't bump into her.

I am just too tired to keep stringing words together in an attempt to form a coherent sentence, so I'm out for now. Sorry about that.

Thursday, May 30, 2002

Home again from yet another day at work. No cute boy today. :( But I'm going to wear my cute (sexy) new shirt when I go to see him play tomorrow night. Maybe that will have some interesting results. Or my competition could be there and win out and I'll be back where I always am. It's OK though. Some of the work crew is going to be there (I think) and I always have fun hanging out with them, so the night won't be wasted or anything like that.

Jenny told me today that she actually reads this, which is great because I didn't think anyone read it. And she complimented my writing, which is always welcome, especially since I love to write so much and that's how I'd ideally like to make a living. So yay Jenny!!!!! Thank you!!!!!!

Kelly, as to your comment...I didn't mention his name. Does that count??? Obviously though, the answer is no, I can't. Sorry. He's a hottie. And an improvement over a certain someone that I used to talk about all the time, right? I know you'll agree with me.

Enough with the personal shoutouts that I could accomplish, well, in person. MacB (that's MacByron, as in MacGuyver. My new nickname for Byron. Don't ask.) is watching 12 Monkeys. Believe it or not I've never seen it. Isn't that insane? I mean, a movie filmed in my hometown, with Brad Pitt and Bruce Willis, that has been out for years, and I haven't seen it. I definitely slacked off in that respect. Of course, the amount of times I've seen other movies that they are in (not together, and not so much in Philly, unfortunately) more than makes up for it. Or at least explains why I haven't seen this one. I need to stop watching the same thing over and over and over and over...

Sophie quit smoking cigarettes. Which makes me think that I should quit smoking as well, since it's so terrible for you and all. Doesn't look like I'm going to be doing that anytime soon, however.

I need to learn HTML and website design and all that good stuff, because I could potentially work for 7th House doing that. They don't have anyone to update the site, apparently, and I wouldn't mind doing it (duh). Their drummer (whose name I've successfully avoided mentioning thus far in this post) said that if they cut a record deal, I would reap some benefits by helping them out now, so there's no reason not to take advantage of that. I'd like to do something that actually involves the music aspect, or more of the business-behind-the-music aspect of it, but I don't have the background knowledge. Maybe I'll learn. (And not because I happen to be slightly interested in a member of the band. That's something I would genuinely like to do.)

I am going to call Micki now, after I check for any comments on the site. (Hint hint, if you read this, say something so I feel special and loved!!)

Wednesday, May 29, 2002

Just got home from work a little while ago, and now I'm watching A Knight's Tale because we have a zillion channels and it's on one of them. Heath Ledger is such a hottie.

Work was fine, Stu was there so that's always fun, although we don't work together all that much because Kim calls me down to the office to help her or he goes out on deliveries to drive the van. But it's nice to have some company every once in a while. I'll probably go to see him play again on Friday night at Terra Blues. I heard some interesting info regarding him that made me pretty happy, although I'm not quite sure where to go with it. It's good though, definitely good.

I fully enjoyed my second day off yesterday. I didn't sleep overly late, but I had a fun time all day. David and I went to hang out in the city, and we stopped by my job and met up with Heather, Kim, and Jenny to do some shopping. David bailed shortly thereafter, but we'd walked around Soho a bit and gotten some coffee. Then Kim, Jenny and I ended up hanging out at Kim's and just watching some TV. Pretty chill day/evening, I guess. I got some cute stuff though. I went to Old Navy for flip-flops, got a pair of pants and a hot shirt at H&M, and 2 regular t-shirts at the Gap. And I didn't spend that much money. The shirts were 2 for $25, the stuff from H&M was $37 total, and the flip-flops were less than $10. All good bargains. Oh yeah, and I got cool blue sunglasses too (yes I'm back into that again. Well, I didn't really get out of it, my old ones were just crap and I never got around to buying new ones.) for $5 from a street vendor.

Anywho, gonna watch the end of the movie now. My hottie is going to kick some major bad guy ass on horseback. (Yes I've seen this before.)